Tales of the Inked Scorpion

I want this kid.

• (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
• Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
• (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
• Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
• Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
• Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
• Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
• (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
• Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”